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I prefer to call it erotic talk, but that is a subject for another day.)I’ll get into specific phrases you can use momentarily, but first, some guidelines to help you get your black belt from the dirty talk dojo.
A good rule of thumb with dirty talk is to tell your partner what you want to do to them/with them before you’re doing it, and then while you’re doing it, tell them what you’re liking about it.
Whether because of being raised in a sexually repressed household, culture, or religious upbringing, when some people begin their foray into verbalized dirty talk, they feel an extra bit of resistance.
One good way to test the waters (and to get more comfortable) with your partner is to send them some naughty text messages to see how they respond.
And while you’re fooling around, giving your partner real time feedback about what you’re enjoying is a great way to encourage them to give you more of that thing, and also gives your sexual play the added edge of becoming more of a multi-sensory experience.
For a lot of people, it’s the details of dirty talk that make it so much of a turn on.
Whether you’re starting out with dirty talk for the first time ever, or you’re starting to have sex with a new partner and just want to slowly test the waters, the following phrases have you covered.– That feels amazing baby– Come sit on my lap, love– Mmm… – I’m getting so turned on/wet/hard– Tell me what you like/if this is too hard/when you’re about to come– You look so beautiful/handsome/gorgeous/manly right now– What do you feel like doing to me?
And no, it doesn’t take away from the sexiness of your dirty talk if you check in with them. It’s the same well-spring of respect that makes you think to ask your partner if their penis/clitoris prefers softer or firmer stimulation. it enhances the feelings of safety, comfort, and connection.
For example, maybe your partner has a relatively high sex drive but their engine only gets revved up when they’re already thinking about sex. Again, this will all be based on what you authentically desire in the moment, but saying something along the lines of “I’m trying to get work done but I can’t stop thinking about last week when we were 69’ing and your delicious juices were flowing into my mouth” could be the thing that pushes them over the edge to jumping you.
They want to have sex more often but it just doesn’t cross their mind all that often. Any statement about what you have liked doing with them, or that you are envisioning doing with them, is a great way to ease into a super-vocal sex session.
When someone says “Talk dirty to me baby…” in the bedroom the hopefully-soon-to-be dirty talker instantly freezes like a soaking wet roll of toilet paper being thrown out of an igloo in Antartica. Alas, this is what people call it so I have to meet society where it’s currently at.
Dirty talk, just like sex itself, is something that needs to be calibrated to the individual that is hearing the dirty talk from their partner.Most people dirty talk with two of their primary senses: sight and touch (i.e. While there’s nothing wrong with sticking to your comfort zone by staying within the parameters of these two dominant sexual senses, there’s so much fun to be had by letting your descriptive imagination run wild.A few examples of dirty talk phrases that use multi-sensory descriptions:– I love how you taste/smell.I can tell that you’re having fun– Where do you want to cum?